The mind dislikes empty spaces. When information is missing, we often fill the gap with an explanation — and then forget that we invented it.
Two columns can change the conversation
Imagine a message has gone unanswered for a day. One column contains what you know: you sent a message; there has been no reply yet. The other column contains what you might be assuming: she is losing interest, you said something wrong, she is testing you, or somebody else has her attention.
The first column is evidence. The second is interpretation. Interpretation is not automatically wrong, but it should not quietly disguise itself as fact.
Why assumptions feel convincing
Assumptions often borrow their emotional force from our hopes and fears. If you already fear rejection, silence can look like rejection. If you badly want a relationship to work, a small gesture can look like commitment. The same incomplete evidence can produce opposite stories depending on what you brought into the room.
This is why curiosity is useful. Curiosity does not demand that you stop feeling. It asks you to separate the feeling from the conclusion.
Then ask what would clarify it
Sometimes time provides the answer. Sometimes a pattern becomes obvious. Sometimes the mature next step is a direct conversation. The goal is not to analyse forever; it is to avoid making a decision from a story you have not verified.
Good questions might include: What evidence would change my mind? Is there another explanation that fits the same facts? Have I seen this behaviour repeatedly, or only once? Is there something I can simply ask?
A better question
Before reacting to the story in your head, ask: “If I removed my preferred explanation, what facts would still remain?”
Clarity often begins there — not with knowing more about the other person, but with becoming more precise about what you actually know.
Don't guess. Get curious.
— Gary C.